I hope all goes well on Monday at my tests and I can start my round of Clomid 150 mg.
I have really been enjoying this 4 day weekend and I can't believe I still have 2 more days until I have to go back to work. Yesterday DH and I went up to my friends place on the shore and we hung out on the beach during the day. It felt great to unwind with friends.
At night my two cousins and SIL came over to watch the Hunger Games. My two cousins are pregnant (7.5 months and 11 weeks) and my SIL had my niece 11 months ago. So you can better believe the night consisted of much pregnancy, baby and labor talk. At times I thought to myself "this is interesting stuff that I will want to know eventually" and at times I thought "wow I wish I didn't know that my cousin only had sex 2 times and became pregnant."
Out of this group only my SIL knows of our infertility struggles, so I can't really begrudge them for wanting to talk about their current states. I am not sure how things would be different if they knew about our struggles - would they still talk as much about being pregnant or would they hold back because they wouldn't want me to feel bad?
If they had asked me "when are you going to have kids" or said something like "you should have kids soon so all of them can be the same age" I probably would have said something about what we are going through. But nobody asked. I guess they just assume we are either trying, pregnant but it is early, or not ready yet. They have no idea I have been off BCP for over a year and are getting ready for our first IUI.
I hope that this first IUI works and I can say "Oh yeah you know all those months you guys were talking about being pregnant? Yeah I was doped up on hormones trying not to yell at you for complaining about being pregnant."
Last night I definitely thought to myself "I can handle all this pregnancy baby talk now as we are only on our first IUI, but if the conversations are still going on like this after we are through a couple more failed cycles then I am going to have to say something and just excuse myself from the conversations before I start to get rude.
I just have to stay hopeful and believe it WILL happen for us (and hopefully soon). DH has been so good lately with keeping me hopeful. He helps me put other people's journey's and our own into perspective and it is good to have someone that level headed about this so I don't go crazy! I have put him on warning that once the Clomid starts I may not be his nice, sweet wife for a while!
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