11 Months with Ellie

Changes/Development
Ellie is getting quite good at getting around - she is still doing the scooting thing, but she is quite fast at it now.  She also started to pull herself up on things this month, mostly the couch and me!

She has started to become a mama's girl.  She will follow me around from room to room and currently shows preference towards me over Brian (well, duh, I am the milk maker!).  She definitely lets us know that she wants to be held because she will start to cry the minute you set her down if she is in a fussy mood. 

One of her top teeth is starting to break through and I think that is making her a bit fussier than normal lately.  We have been trying to introduce more solid foods, she really likes cheese, pasta, black beans, cheerios and strawberries. 

She has been really cute with Winnie lately.  We taught Ellie how to give winnie kisses and it is the cutest thing!  I am so jealous of the fact that she gets to grow up with a dog, I wanted a dog my whole childhood and winnie is my first dog!

Sleep

Still doing awesome in the sleep department!  She goes to sleep around 7pm and wakes up between 6:30-7:15 am most days. Normally she takes two 1 hour naps.  one around 10 am and the second one around 2:30pm.  Some days she will take a 2 hour nap.

Mama Stuff
I am trying to get in some good runs before the really cold weather sets in around here.  Lately it has been feeling pretty fall like which is nice, but it makes me dread the real cold showing up.  I am starting to look forward to introducing milk to Ellie and starting to cut down on the nursing/pumping.  I am not exactly sure how I will make this transition, but I think some time after her first birthday party I will have my mom start to give her cows milk during the day and then I will still nurse her in the morning and at night.  I think that will be a good transition. 

Other Stuff
I am starting to plan Ellie's 1st birthday party!  The theme is going to be Teddy Bear Picnic!  I can't wait.  It will probably be a small affair - just family. I can't believe my baby is almost 1 :(

Here is the picture we used for her invitation:

I can't believe these feelings are coming back

********Please don't read if you are having a bad IF day because you will probably end up hating me*********

I am lucky, so very lucky.  I have a healthy 10 month old daughter.  So why do those terrible feelings come rushing back in when I see that a friend is posting something on a mama's facebook page about possible implantation bleeding? 

I can recognize that my feelings are completely ridiculous. This friend has a 15 month old son and her and her husband must be trying for a sibling.  Why should that make my heart skip a beat (and not in a good way).  I should be happy for her and happy for me that I already have a child.  

Instead I feel those old feelings of "why her and not me" creeping back in.  Why are my emotions like that of a spoiled child?  Many of my blog friends would kill to have 1 child and here I am getting huffy over friends trying for a second. 

I think deep down the feelings are driven by the fact that I am fearful of having to go back to IF treatments when we try for another child.  I am jealous of others who get to jump back in bed to try for a sibling and not set up RE appointments.  

I just had to write down my feelings here to release them from my brain.  I apologize for anyone reading my blog that thinks I am a brat.  

The end.