CD4
I am trying to pick myself back up today after a pretty
terrible yesterday. When I got home last
night after my cycle being cancelled that morning, I found a nice birth announcement
in our mailbox complete with cute picture of said baby. From that moment to opening the bottle of
wine was maybe 30 seconds. I enjoyed
some shiraz with my grilled cheese (classy, eh?) and commiserated with DH when
he got home.
He is starting to really feel the disappointment, not as
much as I do when cycles fail or are cancelled, but I can see the void in his
life growing where our family should be.
He is trying to stay positive for me, but he is hurting too.
I am trying to think of ways to keep myself busy this month
while we are on break. It is tough
during the day because my job is pretty slow right now and my motivation is
pretty bad. I think I will focus on my
mom’s 65th birthday party that we are planning as well as redoing
our family room.
I had a thought as I was walking Winnie last night, maybe I needed this cycle to be cancelled so that my lining could get a little thicker so that IUI #6 is a success and I will be saved from IVF...it is a nice thought, hopefully it is true.
Wine and grilled cheese sounds amazing! Sorry you had to see the birth announcement :( I feel like our husbands usually try to be so strong for us so it is really heartbreaking when you notice they are hurting too. I'm praying that this next cycle is the one and you won't even have to venture into IVF!!!
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