CD7
Can’t say I am sad to see it go! The promise of a new year
is very exciting, but at the same time this marks about 1 year since we started
doing testing & medicated cycles and still no baby.
2012 has been a tough year.
Not my worst year, but a close second.
We had our extended family Christmas party on Saturday. I knew it was going to be a tough one. With every other married woman there either
has a child or is pregnant with one, there were plenty of baby gifts to open
and oo and ahh over. Even my cousin’s
baby who is still in utero got gifts! I
heard several people say “soon there will be another baby here too!” I get
their excitement, I am excited for my family too, but the feeling of being left
behind feels so overwhelming.
At the party I asked my aunt (who has had breast &
ovarian cancer and who adopted her child) to talk with my alone. I started out by asking her about the genetic
testing she had done for the genes, which came out negative, and then I rolled
into “We want to get all of the gene stuff in order because we have been trying
for a while to have a baby (here is when I start to get choked up and cry) and
nothing has worked yet so IVF might not be too far away for us.” She started crying once she saw me crying and
she said she knows how I feel – it was tough for her to watch her sisters get pregnant
with no problems, but she said in the end everything turned out fine when they
adopted my cousin. I had a feeling that
she would bring up adoption as an option, but honestly DH and I aren’t
seriously considering that at the moment.
We have so much going on with current treatments that looking into
adoption at this time doesn’t make sense.
DH and I are pretty determined to have a biological child, no matter how
long it takes. It feels good to have someone else know what is going on with us. I am not sure if the news will make its way down to my other aunt and my cousins, but if it does - that is fine.
Ok so 2013, here goes nothing! Let’s make this the year of the baby!
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