IF Year in Review

CD18

As I am approaching my annual ob/gyn appointment in January I started thinking about this past year and what we have gone through.  At last year's appointment I asked why my periods didn't come back since being off BCP and she prescribed progesterone to bring them back.  The naive IF person that I was back then thought "ok great I will take these pills, my period will return and I will ovulate and we will have sex and have a baby!"  This couldn't be farther from the truth.  

Once I got my period back the first month it stalled out again and I did some more progesterone but this time by ob/gyn prescribed clomid too (this was before I became a regular on TheBump's TTTC board and realized this was not a good thing).  So I took the clomid and I was CONVINCED that I would get pregnant the first month.  I thought to myself "I am not like all those other IF women out there, I will just need to take this pill and in the first month we will get pregnant" haha right.  I even remember waking up in the middle of the night thinking "I just ovulated, I can feel it" when in reality it was probably just a hot flash :/  My cousin had just announced that she was pregnant and I thought "this is great, we will only be like 2-3 months apart!"

So fast forward about a year and after many months off due to testing and cysts, we are on our 6th medicated cycle and 4th IUI.  The naivety is mostly gone, heck this cycle with my lining so low I don't expect to get pregnant what so ever.  But my desire to have a biological child is stronger than ever.  The set backs have never made me want to give up - just try more things.  I hope this desire continues and I don't give up on this dream.  I think of the women who have been TTC for 3+ years and I think "wow they just keep going they want this so badly."

The other day DH said to me "once you get pregnant are things going to be like every other couple who gets pregnant without all the IF stuff?"  And I said "well yes, after we graduate from the RE it will most likely be just a normal pregnancy."  The thought of going through a normal pregnancy after all this is somewhat fascinating to me.  No wonder there is a PAIF board on the Bump because I am sure the feeling of a "normal pregnancy" feels quite foreign to people who have been through so much.