I Survived!

CD5

This weekend was very baby focused.  On Saturday morning I had my CD3 b/w and u/s.  And later in the day I got the “all clear” call to start this next cycle – woohoo!  So I started my 100 mg Clomid for days 3-7 then on day 8 I will do 150 IU's of Follistim and then on day 10 I go for my first monitoring appt!

Then later in the day my cousin came over with her 3 month old baby and her mom (my aunt), my mom and my SIL with my 1.5 year old niece came over to make cookies for my other cousin’s baby shower on Sunday.  It was fun getting together with the ladies of the family, but It was a little tough with all the cooing over the baby. 

On Sunday we had the baby shower for my cousin.  Now I have been dreading this day for a while – not that I don’t love my cousin or her soon to be born baby, but it was tough for me.  I tried to keep busy setting up in the morning and taking people’s coats, etc so I was doing really well.  When she started to open gifts I sort of hung out off to the side.  My other cousin was helping her with the wrapping paper trash and had to go and feed her baby after a while so she asked me to take her place.  So there I am on the couch with my cousin who is opening her baby gifts, and I am trying to do my best to just smile and look positive because we are in front of like 30 people with cameras flashing.  It.was.tough.  Eventually I got out of there and we carried on with the shower and then I helped clean up. 

All in all I did really good, I think.  Yeah it was tough, but I made it through without anyone saying anything like “so when are you going to have a baby?” and without me saying anything bad about pregnant people or babies and whatnot.  When I got home I just collapsed on the couch, I was mentally and physically exhausted.  As much as I love my family, I am sort of excited that we don’t have any family events coming up.  I am sad to say that if the next few cycles don’t work and once my cousin has her baby, I may have to take some “mental health” breaks from family events.  Being the only married couple there without kids while there are 3 babies there might be too much for me to handle.  This makes me really sad, because I am so close with my family, but I need to protect myself. 

On a positive note, today marks 12 years that DH and I have been together!  We met back when we were freshmen in college and have been going strong ever since!  We were talking about all the life events we have been through together and my gosh we have been through the ringer a bit!  He is truly my rock.