CD40:
I was having a really tough day yesterday. On my drive home I couldn’t stop thinking
about how much it sucks that you spend a big chunk of your adult life trying
hard to prevent pregnancy and then when you have taken all the steps to prepare
for having a baby (save money, by house, travel, etc) it seems like it is
impossible to get! Actually correct: it
is impossible for us to get. Everyone
else seems to be able to decide they want to get pregnant and then it actually happens
for them.
I know everyone’s path to having a baby is different and I shouldn’t
compare ours to other people’s…I just wish our path wasn’t so tough. This would be a lot easier if I had some sort
of definite range – like ok you have to wait 6 months but then you will
DEFINITELY be pregnant in that time. The
not knowing what medication or procedures will work or when they will work is
driving me nutty.
Whenever I get into one of these funks I need to remind
myself of how fortunate I am in other aspects of my life: loving husband, good
job, no money troubles, fertility costs are covered under insurance, etc. Things could be a lot worse. This whole infertility thing just gets me
down – I can’t help but think “I had to watch my father die of cancer and you
can’t take it easy on me with this? Really? I can’t catch a break with this
after going through that?” But I guess
these are the things in life that make us stronger – just have to remind myself
that.
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