14 Months with Ellie

We were hit with a blizzard yesterday (got over 2 feet of snow), here is a picture of Ellie all dressed up and playing in the snow!

Development

Ellie started walking last month and now she never crawls anymore.  It is a little sad because she had the cutest little "scoot".  She is getting quite good at walking but I still need to follow her around most of the time because i am nervous she might fall into something (or Winnie will knock her over!).  

I have noticed a big uptick in fussiness and wanting to be held this past month, I am not sure what the cause is but it might have something to do with separation anxiety, even Brian has noticed she has gotten very "mommy needy" recently.  I thought she would prefer to be on her own exploring now that she can walk, but she wants to be held all the time unless I am sitting down on the floor with her.  

She is completely into books and gets very demanding when she wants you to read her a story.  She will go over to the books shelf and select a book (after pulling several off and discarding them) and then bring it over to me and whine and pull at my leg until I read it to her about 10 times.  She loves hearing the story over and over again.  

She is getting really good at understanding us.  I can ask her to point to certain things in the books (mostly animals) and she can tell me where certain ones are (pig, cow, frog, puppy, etc) she even can make certain animal noises although they all sound the same except for the cow.  She is starting to learn the word no and I am sure that will be her favorite thing to say in a few weeks.  She says dada a lot but I am still not sure if she knows it means Brian.  She hasn't quite gotten mama yet.  

I love how she understands when we say things like "ok Ellie time to put your boots on" and she will come over and sit down so we can put them on. 

Feeding

I always feel like she isn't eating/drinking enough, but at her 12 month appointment she went up to the 25th percentile in weight so I know she is getting enough in (she was born at under 1st percentile so this is major)!  I guess I have to remember that she has a tiny belly so her meals are much smaller than mine.  

I am down to 1-2 nursing sessions per day.  I still nurse her right before bed and I try not to nurse her in the morning/in the middle of the night, but sometimes that doesn't always work out since she has recently started to pull on my shirt and whine/cry when she wants to nurse. 

Other Stuff

We are working on an addition to our house and frequently have to go visit show rooms to pick out door knobs, hardware, lighting fixtures, and most of the time we bring Ellie with us which is not an easy task!  She does not want to sit in her stroller for an hour while we pick things out so usually we end up holding her hand while she walks around the store and we try to prevent her from damaging things or herself.  We plan to start the renovations in the spring so that should be very interesting since we have to move out of our house for a few months!

I will follow up on what is going on with the pregnancy in a different post!

**Warning: Don't read if you are having a bad IF day**

CD52

First let's start with a picture of Ellie:

I thought about not putting this out there, but I had to tell my blog friends and I am pretty sure nobody I know in "real" life reads my blog, at least I hope they don't!  If you actually know me in real life please don't say anything!

Last night I got home from work and said to myself "I haven't taken a pregnancy test in over a week, I should just check."  After my initial testing like every other day earlier this cycle I had slowly resolved myself to taking a test every week (like you are supposed to, not like crazy POAS people like me usually end up doing).  I figured since this is my first postpartum period that it would likely be really long or I would only get 1 period and have to go back to the RE.  Not.so.much. 

To my utter amazement after about 2 minutes after POAS, I look down to see this:

I was 1) shocked that the test was positive and 2) shocked at how dark the second line was.  I literally looked down at the test and said "no F***ing way."  Pretty much any time I have taken a pregnancy test I expect it to be positive - but the two times I have seen positive tests have completely blindsided me. I had absolutely no idea that I would see a positive test.  When I found out I was pregnant with Ellie I also found out using a Wondfo, but the line was so light that I had to stare at it all day long to make sure it was there.  There is no mistaking this line!

So all this is going down as Ellie is eating her dinner and Brian isn't home from work yet.  I run around the house and find two white shirts and write "big sister" on Ellie's and "Biggest Sister" on Winnie's (yes I put a shirt on my dog).  I tried to get them to sit next to each other so I could snap a picture but of course they wanted no part of this so I took a video of them.  I knew Brian would be coming home after Ellie went to bed so I needed something to show him.  

Brian comes home and I am very nonchalant, I tell him I have the cutest video of Ellie and Winnie to show him after he gets changed into his leisure wear. So he comes back down stairs and I hand him my phone with the video and he watches it and says "wow you had some extra time when you got home today" (he has no idea what the video is about even though you can clearly read the shirts) So I say "did you see what the shirts said? Big Sister, Biggest Sister?" and he says "yes" and I say "do you know why they say that?" (seriously I couldn't believe it took him so long to catch on) and finally I see it has clicked!  He is super surprised and gives me a giant hug.  

We are both in shock and our minds are racing about "what does this mean" (example: we are about to put an addition on our house and the process should take 6 months and if we stick to the original plan timing the edition won't be done by the time the baby is here).

I am trying to back track into when I actually ovulated this cycle and it is a bit tricky to figure out.  Based on Fertility Friend (I wasn't temping, just charting BDing, and CM) it looks like I O'd around CD35.  That would explain why the test I took last week at 10DPO was negative, but I have such a dark line now.  I put in a call to the OB to see if they need me to come in earlier than my annual appointment on Feb 5th.  It is so weird to go right to the OB and not the RE. 

Right now my mind is racing. I barely slept last night thinking about:

*How is the baby doing?  

*Is something going to go wrong?  Seriously how am I this lucky, something is going to go wrong.

*How will we manage having kids 22 months apart.

*Winnie is going to be pissed we did this to her again.

*Will I need to wean Ellie quickly?

*And like 1 million other things. 

So that is all I have for now. I will update when I have something - perhaps a beta. 

CD45

Folks have told me that the few postpartum periods are a bit wonky and I am definitely experiencing that.  I am currently on CD45 with no period in sight and several negative pregnancy tests in my trash.  I try not to test more than once a week.  

I am sure the fact that I am still nursing Ellie twice a day doesn't help with my period becoming normal but I was really hoping that I could keep nursing her a few times a day and my cycle would normalize, but I think I may have to wean her all together for a chance at "normalcy."  

I didn't think Ellie was as attached to nursing as she is because she has never really "asked" for it as I hear that other babies do, but recently this week we brought her into our bed after she woke up in the morning (when I usually nurse her first thing) and she started crying and fussing and pulling at my shirt when I didn't nurse her right away.  So I guess she is still very much into it.  I am still very torn about weaning and I wish I didn't feel the pressure to do it so that we could get back on the trying to get pregnant track, but I fear it will take a while to get pregnant again so I don't want to delay.  

Here is a picture of the cutie with her furry boots!

Happy 2015!

Test was negative today.  Would have been a nice start to 2015 if it was positive but it is amazing how much easier it is to handle a negative test when your 13 month old is crying for you to come get her :) .  We are so lucky to have Ellie that getting pregnant our first try out of the gate would have been too much luck I think!

I will test again this weekend if I don't get my period by then.  Who knows what is going on this cycle. I will try to temp next cycle to see if i am actually ovulating.  

I  hope everyone is having a great 2015 so far!  I can't wait to see what it brings my blog friends!  Praying for healthy babies born, lots of positive pregnancy tests and if that is no longer your journey then lots of happiness!