A Post for Me!

I realized looking at my recent posts that they are all about my girls (nothing wrong with that) but I figured it was time for a post just about me.  

My life has been full of beautiful chaos lately.  The Tuesday before Christmas we moved back into our house.  I had no idea how much crap we had accumulated at my mom's house until I tried to pack it up and move it back.  I was happy to be moving back but with Brian's hurt knee it was a lot of work packing up the car and unpacking it up.  My mom is a saint for dealing with all of the stuff we had at her house.  Being in our house for Christmas was awesome, even though we couldn't find anything!  We had packed all of our belongings (that we didn't move to my mom's) into 2-3 rooms at our house and we are still going through the process of unpacking boxes and figuring out where things go.  We still have people in our house daily to continue to finish it up (electrical work, outside work, etc) but it is 92% complete and I love it.  I won't say it was worth it, but I love it. There is still a ton of work we have to do to the house (our backyard is currently a slopey muddy mess, our closet has no shelves or poles) but we are through the worst of it. 

2015 was a crazy year for sure:

• Planning our renovation
• Finding out we were pregnant
• Starting the renovation/moving in with my mom
• Having Juliet

All good things but you can see how the crazy could add up.  I am really hoping 2016 is a bit more calm. 

 Which leads me to something I wasn't sure I was going to share on here but here it goes anyway.  For the past few days I have felt a bit nauseous, it was that low sour tummy feeling that sits with you for a while but can't really be tied to anything.  When it didn't go away I thought to myself "I know this feeling, this is pregnancy nausea." Now before you freak out, I am not pregnant.  I have taken 2 tests and they were both negative.  I still feel off but I am thinking it is some sort of bug that isn't full blown.  The reason I am sharing this is because it was the first time in my life I have taken a pregnancy test and actually hoped it was negative.  It was such a strange feeling to do such a 180.  I mean this is a blog that started out as a place for me to deal with infertility, right?  I feel like such a traitor saying I wanted the test to be negative.  When I took the first test I just remember hoping it would be negative and then hating myself for thinking that, but how could I not?  I am so very grateful for our two girls and I am not completely closed to having a third but not now, nope, not now.  The thought of being pregnant terrified me for the first time ever.  I think the main reason it terrified me is because I see how much having Juliet has impacted my time with Ellie and I don't want anything to take any more time away from my girls.  I am one of those people who enjoy being pregnant, but I feel like I have already given so much of my body over the past 2 years that I am just not in a place to have it "taken over" again.  

So 2016 hopefully the year of calm.  We have spent so much money in 2015 with the renovation that I would like to pay everything off and just see where we are financially.  I know we need a new car and I would love to take a family vacation but I am just nervous about spending more money at this time.  I am such a squirreler when it comes to money and Brian is more of a spender and this is pretty much where any fighting comes from in our relationship.  I am also a little nervous about my job this year because my company is being acquired in July and they probably won't need all of us finance folks!  I have been at my company for almost 6 years and I while I wouldn't mind a change, it makes me nervous that I won't be able to find anything as flexible as I have now with working part time.  

I had started going to the gym back about a month ago but with the craziness of the house I stopped going.  I am kind of ok with it for the moment because it was my "me time" but now that I am back at work I already have time on my own.  I also seem to still be losing weight without working out so I think the gym would be overkill at the moment.  The same thing happened with Ellie - I gained about 20 lbs with the pregnancy then lost that plus another 10 lbs after I had her from breastfeeding.  So I started 10 lbs less when I got pregnant with Juliet and now I am about 6 lbs under my pre-Juliet weight.  I know it will level off during the next year though so I am not running out to buy new clothes just yet.  

So enough about me :)  who really wants a post with no pictures so here are some cute ones of the girls!

My little squishy one dressed up for Christmas

 Ellie in her Christmas dress

This is what happens when you try to get a dog, an infant and a toddler to look in the same direction

 Juliet is such a smiler!

 Everyone joining in for tummy time!

 Ellie inside one of her Christmas gifts from Granny and Grandpa

 I can only get her to keep a bow in her hair for about 2 minutes!