Whirlwind

 CD15

The weekend started out pretty chill.  I was working from home on Friday because we got like 1.5 ft of snow (much more than the forecasted 3-6 inches) but I love a good snow storm so that didn’t bother me one bit.

On Saturday we painted our family room.  I find painting very satisfying – it is a cheap and relatively easy way to make a room look a lot better.  DH and I had a staydate on Saturday night.  We got some nice steak to grill, opened a bottle of wine and reminisced about some of our vacation adventures.  We decided that whether IVF works or not we are going to plan a trip to Ireland for September.  If IVF (or IUI #6) works then it will be a babymoon.  If these don’t then it will be a welcomed consolation vacation and something to look forward to.

On Sunday I went to my friend from high school’s baby shower.  I was fine throughout the baby shower, I sat with 3 of my friends who don’t have kids and that was nice, but we sat at a table with a pregnant lady, a lady with 2 kids and a lady with 3 kids so the table talk was very kid focused.  Overall the shower was nice and I held up quite well.

While I was at the shower DH went to my mom’s house and helped her get her house ready to put it on the market, then took her to some open houses.  The fact that he does these things without me asking and likes to spend time with my mom makes me so happy.  He is truly a great partner and I consider myself extremely lucky that I get to go through life with him by my side. 

Last night DH called his parents and told them about our IF struggle.  We hadn’t told them anything about it previously, but we wanted to tell them because they are visiting in 2 weeks and things are so far along now that it has felt weird not telling them.  They promised not to tell anyone and I am sure they will keep it to themselves.  I don’t know whether the visit will be weird with them knowing, but I don’t think they will bring it up unless we do. 

I woke up to a text from my cousin with a picture of her son who was born last night via emergency c-section.  She wasn’t due for another 10 days but she went to the hospital last night with concerns and they had to take him out.  He is beautiful and wish I could say that the news made me feel overjoyed, but that would be a lie.  It breaks my heart that I feel this way.  How can I feel happy for someone and so sad at the same time? It is such a weird mix.  But I am determined that my outward expressions will only be ones of happiness, only those of you in blog world will know my true feelings (lucky you). I am going to try to go and visit them at the hospital today.