1 Month with Ellie

Wow one month gone by!  I was looking back at some photos of Ellie at her birth and I can't believe how tiny she was then!  Just a 5 lbs 5 oz nugget! I am not sure how much she weighs now since we don't have our 1 month pediatrician appointment yet, but I would estimate she is between 7-7.5 lbs, what a difference a few pounds makes!  She just feels so much sturdier now.  

So here is some info on how Ellie is doing at the 1 month point:

Sleep
Ah yes the all important sleep question!  Seems this is the first thing people ask me about.  I usually respond "She is sleeping like a newborn" aka not great, but expected for such a young baby!  Since Brian has been off of work for the past week I have been able to get some longer stretches of sleep - maybe 4 hours before I am "on" and take over feeding her.  It doesn't sound like much, but when you are used to getting only 1.5-2 hours at a time, 4 is amazing! 

Usually how it works is that I feed Ellie at 8:30, then I go up to get ready to sleep and am in bed by 9:30.  Brian changes Ellie and puts her down to sleep - usually she is asleep by 10/10:30.  Then he feeds her between 12-1am and puts her back to sleep.  Then I take over when she wakes up between 2-3 am.  Then I also feed her when she gets up again at 5-6 am.  I usually try to put her back down to see if she will sleep for another hour and she usually does (although not as soundly as the night time stretches) and then we get up for good around 8-8:30 am.  So I am usually in the bed for 10 hours, but I probably only get about 6-7 hours of sleep in that time due to feeding, changing, etc!  I am a little nervous for when Brian goes back to work - since I won't be making him do the 12-1 am feeding since he has to wake up at 5:30 am to drive into the city for work.  Hopefully Ellie will start to stretch out some feedings in the next few weeks. 

Eating
This sort of goes along with sleeping, since she wakes up to feed!  Being able to give her a bottle of breast milk has been great. I no longer feel like I can't leave the house for fear that the person watching her will have to deal with a freaking out crying baby while I am gone.  She still tends to eat quite frequently during the day - as quickly as every hour, but usually every 2 hours.  This is fine since nighttime feedings are further apart. 

She spits up milk a good deal of the time, but it isn't too bad.  She latches on pretty easily now - she sort of does it on her own if I put her close enough, which is quite nice.  Sometimes she gets frustrated and bops around a bit if she can't latch  on right away.  

Outings
We took her out on a "date night" with us.  We went to Fudruckers and then we walked around a furniture store.  She did really well!  The buzz of the restaurant kept her out and she liked strolling around the furniture store too.  It was a little nerve wracking having her out, but it was a good escape! 

We took her on a walk to our town center to see santa!  We weren't going to bring her to see santa this year due to her being so young and us not wanting to stand in a line of nose drippy children, but we found that santa was visiting our town in a more relaxed environment so we quickly bopped her in there for a photo!

 We also just got Ellie's newborn photos back, but I will do a separate post on those! 

Development
She is starting to grasp our fingers more strongly.  She also looks at our faces, before she was just sort of looking around blankly.  She likes to stare at lights specifically.  We have been doing tummy time with her, which she doesn't mind too much and she can move her head from side to side - not very easily or often, but she does it!

Week 3 With Ellie

I am a day late with the post, but here it goes!

Things have been crazy as usual with Ellie, let me break it down:

Breastfeeding
She is nursing very frequently during the day - like sometimes hourly.  I am not sure if she is doing it for comfort or for nutrition.  It has gotten easier to get her to latch on - most times I put her in that general area and she does the rest.  There isn't any pain anymore when she latches, so that is awesome. 

She is still waking up every 2-3 hours at night to feed.  So that translates into me getting about 1-2 hours of sleep at a time.  Not exactly easy to manage!  Tonight Brian and I are planning on him giving her a bottle of breast milk for the first feeding so that I can try to get in a solid 4 hours at once.  I am interested in seeing how she does with the bottle since I have tried to give her a pacifier a few times this week and she just spit it out.  Maybe if the nipple comes with milk she will think differently.  I have found at night that is she is out longer than 2 hours that the breast that is "up next" starts to leak.  I think I will have to pump a little tonight to get rid of milk that Brian will be feeding her, or else I will probably wake up in pain or really wet from leaking. 

I went to a nursing mom's meet up that the hospital puts on.  It felt good to get out of the house with Ellie and be with other mom's going through similar things.  It was nice to be able to nurse out in public with the other ladies and not feel bad if my baby starts to cry during the session.  It was great to hear other ladies questions to the lactation consultant.  Sadly since the meet ups are on Wednesdays there are no meetings for the next 2 weeks due to the holidays.  

Ellie has been spitting up quite a bit after feedings.  She didn't seem to do this the first 2 weeks.  A couple times at night she spit up so much that I had to change both her and my clothes, not fun at 3 am!  Hopefully this is a passing trend while her stomach catches up with her desire to eat.  

Sleeping
I kind of covered this above, but I also wanted to mention her day sleeping habits.  She doesn't like to sleep between the hours of 7:30 am and like 1 pm.  She also doesn't seem to like to be put down during these hours either - which makes trying to do things around the house very tricky. She tends to nap pretty well in the afternoon then gets fussy between 6-9ish.  I feel bad because she gets fussy right when Brian gets home!

My Body
Aside from lack of sleep I am doing pretty well!  I try to get in a nap each day, but it never seems to work out.  Either Ellie doesn't want to sleep then or somebody calls during the nap, etc.  I am really looking forward to some longer stretches of rest.  

The weight loss has continued and I am now down about 6 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.  Brian jokes that it isn't fair that my waist is getting smaller and my boobs are getting bigger and he can't touch me.  Ha if he tried to touch me right now I would seriously wack him.  Until I get more than 2 hours of sleep put together there is no way I am even thinking about anything else!  Not to mention the doc said no sex until the 6 week postpartum check up!

I am down to only wearing pantiliners so that is awesome!  No more big pads for me!  Hemorrhoids are still bothering me though - boo.

Holidays
 I am really looking forward to the upcoming holidays!  Brian will be home from work between Christmas and new years and his parents are coming up for a visit the day after Christmas.  It may be slightly awkward having house guests when I seem to need to breastfeed non stop - but at least there will be others around to soothe and hold Ellie! 

I am also looking forward to my family parties with my side of the family with all of the other kids.  

One thing that kind of stinks is that my friends are all getting together a few times over the holidays and we won't be able to join them.  They are going out to dinner in the city and I am not comfortable leaving Ellie for that amount of time yet and I am not comfortable taking her with us either.  Oh well, small price to pay for sure.  I am hoping some friends will stop by our house to see her. 

Below is a picture of our new little family at Ellie's first party and my brother and sister in law's house!

 

Week 2 with Ellie

I know people say it all the time, but - I can't believe how fast babies grow! Ellie visited the doctor this past monday and has now hit 6lbs!  It may not sound like much, but she is gaining over an ounce a day which is great.  She is now out of her preemie clothes and fits into some of the smaller newborn ones.  And when you hold her she just seems more substantial (at least to Brian and I, everyone else thinks she is still itty bitty). 

So I figured I would update you on some things:

Breastfeeding
Oh lawdy breastfeeding is not easy.  I am luckily past the hurting phase (first few days my nipples were all cracked and then my breasts were engorged), but now I am on to the exhaustion phase! Ellie feeds anytime between every hour up to close to a 3.5 hour stretch.  So I never really know when she will want to eat again.  It is a tough because I will go walk the dog and I will come home to Brian holding a screaming baby because she got hungry while I was out.  It stresses Brian out a bit too, because he can't do anything to calm her when she is hungry.  

Luckily they recommend starting to pump at 3 weeks and introduce a bottle.  So in a week we can try to have Brian take over one of the nightly feedings and I may get to sleep more than 2.5 hours in a row! I have been trying to take a nap during the day while she naps, but it never seems to work out - either I can't go to sleep or somebody calls right after I fall asleep or whatever.  I have never been a good napper so I am not too surprised.  

My body
I have been feeling a lot more "me" lately, not as sore.  Sadly I am dealing with some hemorrhoids now, so I am trying to stay on top of that by drinking lots of water and trying to eat as much fiber as possible.  

I am still bleeding, but it isn't very heavy.  I am hoping it goes away soon though, wearing a pad day after day is not very much fun.  

As tough as breastfeeding is, one of the main benefits I have seen is the weight loss.  I didn't gain much from my pregnancy - only 18 lbs even though I tried to gain a bit more towards the end, my stomach would never let me fit much in there.  Between the baby weight, placenta, extra fluids, etc I was down about 12 lbs a few days after the birth and today at 2 weeks after the birth I am actually 3 lbs under my starting pregnancy weight.  

The weight loss is probably due to breastfeeding and I think also due to the fact that I may have lost weight in some areas of my body while pregnant as my belly got bigger - my mom said the same thing happened to her. Another thing is that I haven't exercised in a while now - so all my muscles have gone to mush - which means less weight as muscle weighs more than fat.  I have a feeling when I start to work out again I will put on some pounds due to muscle gain.  

It is a bit nice to be able to fit into some of my non maternity clothes.  I haven't tried on all that much yet, since I have been living in yoga pants and sweats, but it will be interesting seeing what I can and can't fit into now.  

At Home
Brian went back to work this Monday.  It is a lot harder not having the extra set of hands around, everything seems to take so long!  I usually don't end up showering until noon because the morning is filled with feedings (both baby and dog) changing clothes, changing diapers, etc and then by the time I get to shower it is noon!  

Since I am currently the only one who can feed Ellie, it didn't make sense for Brian to have to get up every time I needed to feed her, especially when he has to wake up so early to go to work.  So he has been sleeping in the guest room and I wake him up whenever I need a "diaper or swaddle assist" or when I just feel like crying because she won't go to sleep.  I am definitely looking forward to the time when he can take one of the nightly feedings.  

Mushy stuff
Brian and I got our Christmas tree this past weekend and we decorated it on Saturday night.  As tired and worn out as we are, it was still a very special evening for our little family.  I look back on what we were going through this time last year - more failed cycles and feeling like everyone in our family either had a baby or was pregnant.  It was a tough time for us.  I couldn't help but cry as we put ornaments on the tree - thinking about how thankful I am to have Ellie with us this year and how I think about all the others out there that are hoping for a similar miracle. The holidays are an especially tough time to deal with IF and my thoughts and prayers go out to all those who are still dealing with it. 

The First Week

Ellie is now a whole 7 days old!  Wow what a week it has been!  I will try to break it down in a couple of categories for easy reading ;)

Right after birth
Right after Ellie was born they put her up on my chest for a quick minute or so.  I was surprised that she wasn't very gooey - I figured she would be covered in blood or something, but she wasn't.  They broke my water shortly before I delivered so maybe she didn't have time to "get dirty" in there, who knows.  

Then the special care nursery folks took a look at her (the delivery nurses had them on sight in case she had any issues due to her size) and luckily she was looking great!  They weighed her and measured her and gave her right back to me.  Then we got to do some skin to skin time with her on my chest and a blanket over us.  This was an amazing time.  Brian was at my side and Ellie was on top of me - all warm and snuggled in.  After a few minutes she started "bopping" over to my breast and so I helped her latch on a bit and we had our first breastfeeding session!  

While all of this is going on the doctor is still "down south" delivering my placenta.  I wasn't sure if this was something I was going to have to push out or not, but luckily the nurse just pushed on my stomach a bit and the doctor pulled and eventually it came out.  The doctor then sewed me up a little bit because I tore a little during pushing, but nothing major.  I don't even know how many stitches I got and none of this bothered me because I didn't feel a thing and my new baby was sitting on my chest.  

They let her hang out there for a while and allowed the epidural to wear off as they started to take out all my "cords"  basically all the monitors, catheter, etc that were attached to me.  Once the epidural wore off enough so that I could walk, the nurse helped me into the bathroom and onto the toilet.  Sorry for the TMI but there was a lot of blood coming out!  But I wasn't really in pain - just sore.  

Then they wheeled us across the hall to the mother baby care unit for the rest of our stay.  

Personal Healing/Body
The first 48 hours after giving birth are tough.  You have just been through a lot of body trauma of your own and you are immediately responsible for caring for your new baby too (well the nurses and dad help quite a bit too, but if you are breastfeeding a lot of it is on you).  The nurse had to put a catheter back into me the first night because I wasn't able to pee on my own and my bladder was filling up.  Surprisingly getting it put in while not medicated wasn't too bad, and it was kind of a relief once it was in, but it was annoying being tied to the catheter bag for the next 12-15ish hours.  

There is definitely a lot of blood outflow the first 24-48 hours.  The nurse helped me put on a "three pad system" which consisted of 3 giant maxi pads stuck to a "pee pad" sheet, then these were put into some of the mesh underwear I have heard so much about and then up they go onto me in large diaper form!  As bulky as this was, it was a great system.  I wore this system until I left the hospital and then went down to 1 giant maxi and now I am on some smaller pads of my own at day 7.  They say the bleeding could last up to 4 weeks I think, gosh I hope it doesn't take that long, although I have noticed a significant decrease since leaving the hospital.  When you breastfeed your uterus contracts at that time and pushes more blood out as your uterus goes back to its normal size.  So each time I breastfed, I would get up from the bed and there would be a gush.  

I was pretty sore down south for the first 48 hours, then coming home I was sore walking around and going up stairs.  Yesterday I took the dog for a walk with my mom and I felt much better - and I haven't had to take any advil for pain today.  They said I should try to walk around, but don't do anything like lifting weights or running for 6 weeks.  

Baby is the boss
We quickly learned that this little 5 lb angel is our new boss! Ha her word (or cry) is our command! The biggest thing is her feeding schedule - looking for cues that she wants to feed and trying to get her to latch on correctly.  While in the hospital she would nurse quite often - every 2-2.5 hours.  At this point she was getting colostrum and doing a pretty decent job of latching on.  The hospital was great with lactation help - the nurses would help me with the technique and we went to a breast feeding class while we were there.  I must say that breastfeeding is not easy.  There is a lot of worry about whether I was feeding her enough, whether I was doing it correctly, etc.  Luckily Ellie is an excellent feeder and let me know when she was hungry.  

It was a bit painful at the beginning and my nipples were quite sore, but they are doing better now.  She had dropped from 5 lbs 5 oz at birth to just over 5 lbs on the day we left, but since the weight drop was under 10%, the doctors were not concerned.  The day after we got home my milk started to come in and hello engorgement!  Whoa my boobs have been huge and rock hard for the last 48 hours.  I am hoping this goes away soon, but I am very happy that my milk came in quickly and that Ellie continues to feed well and grow (she was almost back to birth weight on Monday which is awesome).  

I have been extremely fortunate that breastfeeding has gone as well as it has.  Many people deal with supply issues, or baby issues, but we have not had those troubles.  It is a lot of work, and very tiring, but I am so glad I am able to do it.  The best thing is feeding her and then seeing her pop of my breast with this look of full contentment on her face kind of like her saying "thanks mom, that was good" ha. With my milk in I have definitely noticed the "leaking factor"  especially at night when she sleeps a bit longer and doesn't feed as frequently.  I have had to use pads in my sleeping bra so that I don't "wet the bed."  And after showering I sometimes look down and find myself leaking.  I have to just laugh at these events, because what else can you do!  I definitely need to invest in some more breastfeeding clothes - because I don't have a lot that are easier to get in and out of for ease of breastfeeding. 

She is growing well, but we couldn't find anything in newborn size that would fit her!  My sister in law went to babies r us and picked us up some preemie clothes and those fit her great!  It is so nice to put her in things that actually fit! We also picked up some preemie diapers that fit her better too.  I can't wait to show her these preemie clothes when she is older (and much bigger) and say "can you imagine you were ever this small?"  the clothes are truly very tiny!

It is funny to see how her poops have changed over the past week.  They started with the black tarry meconium ones, then went to a greenish black and now have turned mustardy.  My day revolves around recording how many wet diapers, poopy diapers, and feedings that she gets to make sure she is on the right track! 

Sleeping started off pretty shaky in the hospital and the first few days we were home.  In the hospital she didn't really like the clear plastic "crib" she slept in and we were nervous she was going to get out of the swaddle and roll over, plus there are nurses coming into the room all through the night to check on her and check on me, so there wasn't much sleeping in the hospital.  

Once we got home we tried to put her to sleep in the rock n play in our bedroom, but she did not seem to like it at first.  She really wanted to sleep on us, which I don't blame her for - she went through a lot coming out into the world. The first few nights she would nurse every 2-2.5 hours through out the day and at night, then she wouldn't want to go to sleep on her own, so Brian and I were up quite a bit feeding and trying to soothe her.  Brian felt bad he couldn't do more to help me with feedings, and every time he tried to soothe her, she wanted to eat more so he had to hand her off to me anyway.  

The first few days were really tough and getting 3-4 hours of intermitten sleep per night were not going to fly for very long. Luckily the past 2 nights have been really good.  Last night we were able to feed her and then put her down in the rock n play at 9:45 pm then she slept until 1:45 am then I took her downstairs to feed her and brought her back to bed at 3 am (takes a while because she feeds then tries to pass out and I sort of burp her to get her to wake up and take some more milk.  She feeds really quickly, but I try to get her to eat as much as possible so she stays asleep longer.) Then she slept from 3-6:30 am and at this point I got up for the day.  I let Brian sleep during these because there really isn't much he can do with the feedings, and I figure one of us should get a full nights sleep!  Plus once she reaches 3-4 weeks I will introduce one bottle of breast milk during the night so she gets used to using both a bottle and breast.  I was pretty proud of her for her 4 hour followed by 3.5 hour stretches!  During the day she seems to feed more frequently (every 2 hours I would say) which is much better than doing that at night!  I am sure there will be some regression and sleep challenges, but right now I think she is doing great.  

Family Help
 I feel extremely grateful that we have so much family around us and that they are so very helpful!  Each night someone has dropped off something for us to eat for dinner, how sweet is that?  And my mom stops by every day to check in on us and see what we need.  My cousins and SIL have been dropping off baby items for us to borrow.  I can not imagine how tough it must be to bring home a new baby without other family support.  

Brian gets 2 weeks of paternity leave from work and so he has been home this whole week too and plans to take some more time off between Christmas and New Years.  This has allowed us to settle in and get some stuff done around the house (he is getting my car inspected as we speak).  I am a little nervous for when he goes back to work next week, but since my mom and SIL are only blocks away, I know they will be helping me out.  

Wow I sure wrote a lot!  I really wanted to get all of this down before I forgot!  Congrats to you if you read it all.  

Here are some more pictures!

Ellie in one of her cute preemie outfits!

 

Making her content just fed face

 

 

She's here!

Sorry for the delay in posting this!  As you can imagine life has been pretty hectic lately!

 
So happy to announce that Elizabeth (Ellie) Claire was born on Thanksgiving day at 4:39 pm.  She weighed 5lbs 5 oz and was 18 inches long. 

I was induced on Tuesday morning because I had IUGR (Intrauterine growth restriction) and they felt Ellie would grow better on the outside - I was 39 weeks 2 days at this point.  The induction took some time - we started cytotec on Tuesday morning at 10 am to thin my cervix out and I was still 1 cm dilated as of 4pm on Wednesday afternoon so they started me on another cervix thinning medicine (cervadil) at that point.

 I started to have painful back labor at this point, but the contractions I was feeling on my back were not showing up on the monitor.  They checked me again at 3:30 am on Thursday morning and I was still 1 cm dilated with a "rock hard" cervix.  I am in serious pain at this point (throwing up, etc) and they said I could get the epidural, even though I wasn't dilated much and my contractions weren't showing up on the monitor as being very big.  

I am starting to get pretty discouraged at this point because I feel like this could go on forever (after the cervadil the plan was to go to pitocin to bring on contractions).  I am able to get some sleep in from 4 am Thursday until 8 am Thursday morning, but shortly after I wake up I notice the epidural has started to wear off on half of my body and I can now feel shooting contraction like pain down my leg (but no contraction pain in my uterus and the monitor is still not picking up major contractions). I ask the nurse if they can check me again to see how far along I am and do something so that the epidural works again and they finally check me again at 3:45 pm. 

The doctor said "you are fully dilated" and I was beyond shocked, but I was extremely relieved!  I was afraid they would say "you are only 2 cm now" and start pitocin and this would continue for another 12 hours.  For some reason the monitors weren't picking up my contractions, but I went to a full 10 cm without anyone noticing.  The doctor said "we are going to start pushing soon" and the anesthesiologist came back to make the epidural work on both sides of my body. 

After 20 minutes of pushing, out she came!  As she was coming out the doctor told me to "look down" and I watched as they pulled her out and she cried right away - the most beautiful sound I have ever heard! She got an 8 at her 1 min apgar and 9 at her 5 min apgar.  When I look back on the it - at one point I started to feel like I had to make a bowel movement, this was probably my body starting to tell me to push! She is strong and healthy even though she is on the smaller side.  After we were back in the recovery room my mom brought us Thanksgiving dinner and we enjoyed our first Thanksgiving as a family!

We took her home on Saturday and she has been doing great. She is wearing preemie clothing because she is small, but today we had her first pediatrician appointment and she has already gained back 4 oz since coming home, so I don't think she will be in preemie clothing for long. 

I will try to do another post about life now that she is home with us soon!

Thank you to all my blog friends who have supported me throughout this whole process, you guys are amazing and I am constantly thinking of you no matter where you are in your journey.  

Here are some more pictures:

Daddy and baby are both very tired!

 

She is so tiny in her car seat!

 Winnie Meeting her little sister for the first time

 

Sleepy girl