13 Months with Ellie

So I am a day late...I wasn't sure how long I would be doing these updates...but I figured I would keep posting them as long as I can so that I remember when Ellie does everything! 

 

Development

Big month - Ellie is now walking!  It started a few months ago with her pulling herself up on things, then that turned into cruising on furniture which turned into walking around holding our hands to eventually letting go and walking on her own.  She is still a little hesitant to walk without holding on to things, but she can do about 20 steps in a row without holding on to anything.  It is so funny to see her little body walking on its own.  

She currently has 6 teeth and I think she is starting to get the other ones on the bottom.  I am amazed at how much she can understand now. I will tell her to "go get a book to read" or "give Winnie that toy" and she will go ahead and do it.  We are working on teaching her where her nose, head, eyes, etc are.  

Ellie is really into books now. Like read me 10 books in a row or else I will freak out.  Her favorites are The Very Hungry Caterpillar and anything with Sophie the Giraffe in it!

Feeding

She is totally off "baby food" as of a month or so ago.  She eats almost anything we eat.  Her favorites are cheese, raspberries, and peanut butter toast. We started giving her whole milk this month in sippy cups and she seems to like it.  It is tough getting her to eat vegetables at meals so I usually try to give those to her first before anything else.  She sure does love to feed her food to Winnie and food has started flying off the high chair!

Since we started to introduce whole milk she has stopped nursing as much.  Right now she is only nursing when she gets up and usually a little bit before naps and then right before bed.  I have stopped pumping in the morning and I am down to 1 pumping session at work and plan to phase that out in a week or so.  I have noticed my breasts are not nearly as full feeling in the morning when I wake up, so that is nice.   It seems like my period returning coincided with the introduction of cow's milk.  I still send 2 servings of breast milk with Ellie to my mom's house and I will continue to do that until my freezer stash is gone.  I think I have about 100 ozs left.  

Vacation

We took Ellie to Puerto Rico this month!  My cousin and his wife moved there recently and we couldn't pass up the free lodging and free (with points) flights.  It was tricky keeping Ellie happy on the flight because she did not want to nap and was so overstimulated by everything.  She had to reach "freak out status" before she essentially passed out on me.  Luckily freak out status only lasted about 15 minutes.  

It wasn't easy vacationing with a 1 year old, but it was a lot easier since my cousin's wife used to nanny and doesn't currently have a  job or kids so all she wanted to do was play with Ellie!  It was so nice having an extra set of hands!  She watched Ellie 2 nights while Brian and I got to go out to eat alone together - such a nice treat!  It was also fun to play with Ellie in the pool and at the beach.  I was nervous about how naps on the go would be, but with the warm weather she just fell asleep in her stroller whenever she was tired. 

We drove up to the rain forest and took a hike through it and that was a lot of fun.
All in all I am glad we went, but it wasn't the easiest age to travel with!   It is tough because she doesn't understand reasoning yet like "no Ellie we can't move out of our airplane seat because we are taking off" stuff like that.  

Christmas
Christmas was a lot different this year!  Last year Ellie was only 1 month old and it was all sort of a daze. This year we were still busy, but at least we were getting some sleep!  We drove down to Brian's family in Pennsylvania then celebrated with my family when we were back up in Mass.  

We didn't buy Ellie many gifts because she just had her birthday and we knew she would get gifts from others.  Our house is now jam packed with toys!  It is a good thing, but I quickly took half of them up to the attic so that we can introduce them through out the year.  Half of them were a little too advanced for her at this point anyway.  

Overall it was a great Christmas.  It was nice having some more days off to spend time with Ellie. 

So...I guess I am in the 2 week wait!

So I posted a few weeks ago that I got my first postpartum period and that was pretty surprising.  Well Brian and I figured we weren't going to let a cycle go to waste so we did our best to hit ovulation timing if it happened to occur this month. 

I didn't temp this month because my sleep is so erradic with Ellie and I didn't have a working thermometer at home!  I did monitor my cervical mucus and it did get quite watery between days 17-19. (side note, on the month we conceived Ellie I O'd on CD19).  

So who knows.  I am trying not to think too much about it (although you know how hard that can be!), but rather just be grateful that my cycles started up on their own.  I really didn't expect them too at all really, and even less so with still breastfeeding.  

I plan to test on January 1st. 

1st Birthday Party!

Ok so Chickie really lit a fire under my butt to get this post done!  I had so much fun planning Ellie's birthday party so I wanted to make sure to share the pictures!  I am posting so many so I hope you can see all of them!

So I think I mentioned previously that Ellie's 1st birthday party was Teddy Bear Picnic themed.  I got a lot of ideas from Pinterest!  I was able to borrow decorations or do things inexpensively.  The cake was really my only "big ticket" item.  

We only had family over for the party since our house is a bit tight for an inside party, so we had about 25 people total including kids. 

My mom has collected teddy bears over the years and decorates her house with them at Christmas time, so I borrowed about 15 bears from her and put them all over the house:

 I had the picture I took of Ellie for the invitation and blew it up to a poster size from snapfish and then mounted it on a canvas - cost about $12 total and now we can hang the picture up somewhere in the house

 This was more for the parents...but this bear got into the scotch ;)

 I bought helium balloons and tied them to bears on the front porch to greet guests!

 I printed my favorite pictures of Ellie from each month and hung them on the staircase

 Here is the chalkboard that I used for all my bump updates!

 

 Ellie's high chair with balloons

 This took forever to do but it was cheap and it turned out really good in the end!  Just streamers and balloons tied to the ceiling!

 The family and some bear friends under the decorations!

I bought as many bear shaped foods as I could (gummy bears, teddy grahams, etc) and put them out in bowls

 Ah the cake!  I love how the cake came out!  It wasn't a huge cake but I think it is so fun!  Look at that bear family having a picnic!

 Ellie's smash cake

 

Another view of the cake, I also made little snickers bar cars that were driven by teddy grahams!

 Ellie wasn't quite sure what to make of the cake!

 And she may have cried a little....

Then we opened some gifts!

 Such a cute hat...too bad it didn't last long on her head!

 

This is my favorite picture from the party, Ellie and her cousins!

Ellie had a fun day and I had fun planning the party!  Who knows what next year's theme will be!

She's Baaaaaack

Something surprising happened yesterday.  I got my period.  This is surprising because:
A) I am still nursing Ellie about 4 times a day
B) Without medication I haven't gotten my period on my own in about 14 years. 

So you can imagine my surprise and also excitement.  I am trying not to get too excited thinking that having Ellie "fixed" me and my problems (annovulatory PCOS) but this is definitely a good thing.  I actually logged into my Fertility Friend account on my phone and started a "cycle" wow, that is so weird to say.  I might be cycling.  I know getting my period doesn't necessarily equate to ovulating but at least it is a step in the right direction.  The idea of possibly conceiving another child without having to go back to the RE is exciting, but I am trying not to get too ahead of myself.  

1 Year with Ellie

I can.not.believe my baby is a year old.  How on earth did this happen?  It seems like so long ago and just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital.  I am amazed at how far she has come in the past 12 months.  She has grown from this tiny little 5 lb 5 oz pumpkin into a feisty and fun ball of energy.  I love seeing her change and grow - it feels like she does something new every week!  At the same time each new stage is somewhat bittersweet because it means saying goodbye to another cute and fun stage.  I didn't realize that I was going to have a tough time with her turning one.  Every time somebody tells me that "she isn't a baby anymore" my heart sinks a bit.  I just feel a bit sad and I can't quite grasp why.  I love watching her grow, but every milestone feels like "the last time...instead of the first time" I am sure this is routed somewhere in my IF fears.  I need to be more positive about it!

Teeth - Ellie's teeth are coming in fast and furious.  She started getting her bottom front two teeth at 9 months and now she has her top 2 front teeth in and the two next to those are coming in!  She has been a bit fussy lately with all the teeth coming in - she wakes up more frequently at night, sometimes she will go back to sleep on her own but every few nights I go in and nurse her and then she will go back to sleep.  

Development -  Ellie has started to cruise around holding on to the couch.  She can walk decently well holding on to both of our hands and she now wants to do this all the time!  It is funny because she is still such a little thing (I think her height is around the 10th percentile and her weight is around the 15th) so it seems funny to think of her walking around soon. I will definitely miss her "scoot" once she leaves it behind for walking. She looks like a little pirate when she scoots along the floor - she can really go quite fast!

She has started to throw tantrums when we try to dress her or change her diaper - she rolls around on the floor and tries to crawl away.  It is a challenge to wrangle her back to get on clothes!  She can definitely understand things that we tell her more now, such as asking her to come over and sit with me so I can read her a book.  She hasn't said any words yet, but loves to babble and see how loud she can make her voice go!

Ellie and Winnie are starting to really develop a closeness.  Ellie loves to crawl over to Winnie and kiss her and have Winnie lick her face.  They love to trade toys and pass them back and forth.  

Sleep - Ellie started standing up in her crib this month.  She has been sleeping in her Magic Merlin suit ever since we moved her to the crib at about 4/5 months and couldn't really move around too well in it so we had her crib on the higher setting.  One night I looked at the monitor at about 2 am and noticed she was standing up in her crib holding on to the sides and I kind of freaked out because the mattress was so high - I was scared she would fall out so we ran in there and lowered the mattress in the middle of the night.  The problem with her standing in the crib is that she can sit back down, but can't really lay herself down easily.  She ends up sleeping on her tummy half sitting down.  She is now in a sleep sack instead of the merlin suit so she can move around in her crib a lot easier now.  She enjoys sleeping on her tummy now, which sort of freaks me out when I look at the monitor and see her face down, but she is strong enough to correct herself if she needs to move around, so it is fine.  I still don't have anything in the crib with her, but I think in the next few months I might be comfortable allowing her to have small comfort items.  

Nursing - with the top teeth coming in it is getting a bit more uncomfortable nursing her - she doesn't bite down hard per say, but every now and then it is painful with the teeth in there.  Now that we are past the 12 month mark I plan to start cutting out my work pumping sessions.  I currently pump twice  day at work.  First I will try to cut it down to one and then hopefully cut out the other.  It is so funny starting to think about cutting down my milk supply because for most of her life I have been worried about having enough milk!  As I cut down the breast milk I will be having my mom give her whole milk while she watches her.  I anticipate that the change over from breast milk will take a few months.  I am not sure how long I will continue to nurse her but I expect to hang on to the morning and before bed sessions for a bit longer.  I am not ready to give them up and I don't think she is either.  

I am really wondering if I will get a period once I stop breastfeeding.  I wasn't getting one on my own before I started IF treatments, so I guess it would be unlikely for it to return on it's own...one can dream though!

I will do a separate post about her first birthday party.

11 Months with Ellie

Changes/Development
Ellie is getting quite good at getting around - she is still doing the scooting thing, but she is quite fast at it now.  She also started to pull herself up on things this month, mostly the couch and me!

She has started to become a mama's girl.  She will follow me around from room to room and currently shows preference towards me over Brian (well, duh, I am the milk maker!).  She definitely lets us know that she wants to be held because she will start to cry the minute you set her down if she is in a fussy mood. 

One of her top teeth is starting to break through and I think that is making her a bit fussier than normal lately.  We have been trying to introduce more solid foods, she really likes cheese, pasta, black beans, cheerios and strawberries. 

She has been really cute with Winnie lately.  We taught Ellie how to give winnie kisses and it is the cutest thing!  I am so jealous of the fact that she gets to grow up with a dog, I wanted a dog my whole childhood and winnie is my first dog!

Sleep

Still doing awesome in the sleep department!  She goes to sleep around 7pm and wakes up between 6:30-7:15 am most days. Normally she takes two 1 hour naps.  one around 10 am and the second one around 2:30pm.  Some days she will take a 2 hour nap.

Mama Stuff
I am trying to get in some good runs before the really cold weather sets in around here.  Lately it has been feeling pretty fall like which is nice, but it makes me dread the real cold showing up.  I am starting to look forward to introducing milk to Ellie and starting to cut down on the nursing/pumping.  I am not exactly sure how I will make this transition, but I think some time after her first birthday party I will have my mom start to give her cows milk during the day and then I will still nurse her in the morning and at night.  I think that will be a good transition. 

Other Stuff
I am starting to plan Ellie's 1st birthday party!  The theme is going to be Teddy Bear Picnic!  I can't wait.  It will probably be a small affair - just family. I can't believe my baby is almost 1 :(

Here is the picture we used for her invitation:

I can't believe these feelings are coming back

********Please don't read if you are having a bad IF day because you will probably end up hating me*********

I am lucky, so very lucky.  I have a healthy 10 month old daughter.  So why do those terrible feelings come rushing back in when I see that a friend is posting something on a mama's facebook page about possible implantation bleeding? 

I can recognize that my feelings are completely ridiculous. This friend has a 15 month old son and her and her husband must be trying for a sibling.  Why should that make my heart skip a beat (and not in a good way).  I should be happy for her and happy for me that I already have a child.  

Instead I feel those old feelings of "why her and not me" creeping back in.  Why are my emotions like that of a spoiled child?  Many of my blog friends would kill to have 1 child and here I am getting huffy over friends trying for a second. 

I think deep down the feelings are driven by the fact that I am fearful of having to go back to IF treatments when we try for another child.  I am jealous of others who get to jump back in bed to try for a sibling and not set up RE appointments.  

I just had to write down my feelings here to release them from my brain.  I apologize for anyone reading my blog that thinks I am a brat.  

The end.