1 Year with Ellie

I can.not.believe my baby is a year old.  How on earth did this happen?  It seems like so long ago and just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital.  I am amazed at how far she has come in the past 12 months.  She has grown from this tiny little 5 lb 5 oz pumpkin into a feisty and fun ball of energy.  I love seeing her change and grow - it feels like she does something new every week!  At the same time each new stage is somewhat bittersweet because it means saying goodbye to another cute and fun stage.  I didn't realize that I was going to have a tough time with her turning one.  Every time somebody tells me that "she isn't a baby anymore" my heart sinks a bit.  I just feel a bit sad and I can't quite grasp why.  I love watching her grow, but every milestone feels like "the last time...instead of the first time" I am sure this is routed somewhere in my IF fears.  I need to be more positive about it!

Teeth - Ellie's teeth are coming in fast and furious.  She started getting her bottom front two teeth at 9 months and now she has her top 2 front teeth in and the two next to those are coming in!  She has been a bit fussy lately with all the teeth coming in - she wakes up more frequently at night, sometimes she will go back to sleep on her own but every few nights I go in and nurse her and then she will go back to sleep.  

Development -  Ellie has started to cruise around holding on to the couch.  She can walk decently well holding on to both of our hands and she now wants to do this all the time!  It is funny because she is still such a little thing (I think her height is around the 10th percentile and her weight is around the 15th) so it seems funny to think of her walking around soon. I will definitely miss her "scoot" once she leaves it behind for walking. She looks like a little pirate when she scoots along the floor - she can really go quite fast!

She has started to throw tantrums when we try to dress her or change her diaper - she rolls around on the floor and tries to crawl away.  It is a challenge to wrangle her back to get on clothes!  She can definitely understand things that we tell her more now, such as asking her to come over and sit with me so I can read her a book.  She hasn't said any words yet, but loves to babble and see how loud she can make her voice go!

Ellie and Winnie are starting to really develop a closeness.  Ellie loves to crawl over to Winnie and kiss her and have Winnie lick her face.  They love to trade toys and pass them back and forth.  

Sleep - Ellie started standing up in her crib this month.  She has been sleeping in her Magic Merlin suit ever since we moved her to the crib at about 4/5 months and couldn't really move around too well in it so we had her crib on the higher setting.  One night I looked at the monitor at about 2 am and noticed she was standing up in her crib holding on to the sides and I kind of freaked out because the mattress was so high - I was scared she would fall out so we ran in there and lowered the mattress in the middle of the night.  The problem with her standing in the crib is that she can sit back down, but can't really lay herself down easily.  She ends up sleeping on her tummy half sitting down.  She is now in a sleep sack instead of the merlin suit so she can move around in her crib a lot easier now.  She enjoys sleeping on her tummy now, which sort of freaks me out when I look at the monitor and see her face down, but she is strong enough to correct herself if she needs to move around, so it is fine.  I still don't have anything in the crib with her, but I think in the next few months I might be comfortable allowing her to have small comfort items.  

Nursing - with the top teeth coming in it is getting a bit more uncomfortable nursing her - she doesn't bite down hard per say, but every now and then it is painful with the teeth in there.  Now that we are past the 12 month mark I plan to start cutting out my work pumping sessions.  I currently pump twice  day at work.  First I will try to cut it down to one and then hopefully cut out the other.  It is so funny starting to think about cutting down my milk supply because for most of her life I have been worried about having enough milk!  As I cut down the breast milk I will be having my mom give her whole milk while she watches her.  I anticipate that the change over from breast milk will take a few months.  I am not sure how long I will continue to nurse her but I expect to hang on to the morning and before bed sessions for a bit longer.  I am not ready to give them up and I don't think she is either.  

I am really wondering if I will get a period once I stop breastfeeding.  I wasn't getting one on my own before I started IF treatments, so I guess it would be unlikely for it to return on it's own...one can dream though!

I will do a separate post about her first birthday party.