4 Months with Ellie

Before starting my 4 month update I just wanted to send out some big hugs to fellow blogger ChickinNH.  I am not sure if you are reading other people's blogs lately, but I want you to know we are thinking about you and your family and praying for you. 

Talking changes/development

The giggles...oh how I love the giggles!  To hear Ellie laugh is probably the most amazing thing ever.  This month has brought on increased smiles and laughter from our little one.  I can see that her core is starting to get stronger too.  She doesn't like to be held facing in as much - she wants to face outward so that she can see the world.  She notices things a lot more now - will turn to look at people, Winnie and toys.  

She rolled from her stomach to her back a few times this month and she has been kicking her legs a lot more. 

Working Mom

Work...aye this working mom thing is quite the challenge.  It is hard to live in both of these worlds at the same time - having both compete for my time, thoughts and energy.  I love that my job is flexible and allows me to work 2 days from home with Ellie, but it is so very difficult to manage both at the same time.  I am hoping that things are just crazy right now because it is an unusually busy time at work and that maybe during the spring time I won't feel guilty about taking Ellie and Winnie out for a walk or an errand during the days I am home.  

I had lunch with my old boss last week and that has helped me think about work life balance a lot.  When she was my boss she worked part time and was in the office 3 days a week.  What it comes back to overall for me is that I don't want to look back in a year and think "I didn't take the time to do x or y with Ellie on that nice spring day when the sun was out" I don't know if I will ever be able to have another child and this could be my only chance to experience things - I don't want to miss anything!  But then at the same time I still need to get my work done!

Sleep

Ellie is still a sleeping champ.  It is unusual for her to wake up in the middle of the night now, but she still does that occasionally.  Her normal go to bed time is around 8pm now, but sometimes she doesn't fall asleep until 9pm.  Brian's job is to put her to bed and he walks around with her and feeds her from the bottle and then lays her down in her rock n play.  Sometimes she will wake up after he has put her down and he will have to go back in and rock her some more. 

Usually once she is really out she will sleep until 6:20ish am.  If she wakes up at this time I go in and feed her then reswaddle her and put her back to bed.  She usually goes back to sleep until about 7:30 am.  Sometimes she wants to keep sleeping on my work days and I have to wake her up booo.  

My favorite time of day is when I go back in for the second wake up at 7:30.  I unwrap Ellie's swaddle and lay her in her crib and she lets out big "stretchies" and then gives me a big smile.  

Feeding

Feeding has gotten pretty straight forward.  When I am at home with her she usually eats every 2-3 hours.  When I am not working I breastfeed her all day except after 7 pm ish when she gets a bottle due to how fussy she gets!  Most of the time Ellie is great at latching and focusing on eating instead of looking around. 

I feel like I pump a lot because on days I am not working I usually pump once in the morning when I wake up (just one side) and then I pump both sides before I go to sleep.  On days when I am working I pump 4 times a day (2 at home/2 at work) so taking out the pump and the parts is quite tedious to do that many times a day, but I do it to make sure I have enough milk to get her bottles and to make sure my breasts don't explode/leak overnight! 

Body

I am hovering around being down 11-12 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.  It is nice to fit into things I haven't fit into in a while, but I am finding a lot of my work clothes are almost too loose (nice problem to have).  It will be interesting to see how my summer clothes are fitting if spring/summer ever comes to New England this year!

The scale is about 1-2 lbs away from a new weight "decade" as I call it.  I haven't seen 12X since high school so I am somewhat interested in seeing if I can make that happen.  

Brian and I visited his parents in PA last weekend and on Saturday morning we left Ellie with Grandpa and Granny and took Winnie on a 5 mile run.  It wasn't the fastest run, but it felt SO good to be running.  We joked that we were on a "Date" besides the fact that Winnie was there. 

Feelings/thoughts
I will be honest with you that I cried a lot this week.  Not because I was sad for me, but because I was sad for my blog friend ChickinNH.  I haven't cried that much probably since we were doing IF treatments.  What she is going through breaks my heart into pieces.  It isn't fair for anyone to lose a child in that way, not to mention someone who has already been through so much to get pregnant to begin with.  I hope and pray that she and her husband are able to heel and are able to get their bring home baby soon.  

When I start to get annoyed that Ellie is fussing or crying I think about Chickie and others who would be so thankful to have a crying baby to soothe and that really makes me appreciate how fortunate we have been.