Juliet is 4 Months

I can't believe Juliet is already 4 months!  I feel like I am so occupied with Ellie that Juliet has been growing so much without me noticing!

General 
Juliet is still winning the award for being a super awesome baby.  She is pretty predictable about when she will cry now - mostly she is either hungry or wants to be picked up and carried around.  She loves to be held facing out and hates being alone when she is awake. She is pretty much bald right now with a very thin/short layer of fuzz that looks to be brown but has a reddish tinge if she is in the right light.  Her eyes are still newborn grey/blue color, but I am thinking they will be brown like her sisters.  I have been calling her my little squish lately because she has some awesome baby chub going on.    

Feeding/Sleeping
Her bedtime keeps creeping earlier.  Right now she usually goes down around 7:30 pm.  I start to put Ellie down around 6:50 and am usually done by 7:20 pm then it is usually time to put Juliet down.  I nurse her and she falls asleep pretty easily.  She is still swaddled and sleeps in a rock n play but I think I am going to start transitioning her to the Merlin sleep suit and her crib this weekend.  I have been avoiding it the past few weeks because I have been working full weeks at work and I want to start on a week where I am back to my old schedule.  Juliet has been getting squirmier lately so I think it is time to take her out of the swaddle.  I am a bit nervous because she sleeps well right now, but hopefully the transition will go ok. 

Most nights Juliet goes down around 7:30-7:45 pm and wakes up once at night around 1:30am.  She has been doing this for the past week, before that she was sleeping through until about 5:30 am.  I am hoping the middle of the night wake up is just a phase and she will go back to sleeping through, but I have been really lucky with sleep so far so I really can't complain much.  With the two kids though usually one is up each night - Ellie has had a cough lately so she might wake up at 11 pm and need some more water or some soothing.  So sleep isn't super great for me but better than most folks with a 4 month old I think.   

No real nap schedule yet - she mostly sleeps in the bouncer still, but I am going to try to start putting her down for naps once she is in her crib and once patterns start to emerge. 

Work
I have been back at work for a month now and it is going well.  Most weeks I work 3 days a week but I worked two full weeks the first two weeks of January because I am an accountant and it is year end.  Working 3 days a week is perfect for me, but working 5 days is really tough.  It has also been tough in the mornings getting ready for work because most mornings Brian leaves the house at like 5:15 am so I need to get myself and 2 kids ready for the day.  I end up getting up around 5:30 am to pump and shower before they get up.  

2 Under 2 
I am not sure if it is all the transitions that Ellie has had in her life or if it is just being 2, but Ellie is having a bit of a rough time right now.  She has been throwing lots of tantrums and crying if she doesn't get her way (example: When we go downstairs in the morning at like 6 am she will ask for an M&M and when I say no she has a fit).  She is very attached to me still and I think that is probably because I started back at work and because Juliet takes a lot of my time now.  If I am around she usually only wants me to do things for her.  So I end up pretty much having to put both girls to bed every night because Ellie wants nothing to do with Brian doing it - which is tough because he would like to help out it is just easier on everyone if I do it.  Juliet also doesn't like to be away from her food source so poor Brian has to deal with screaming kids a lot.  

Body/Recovery
I am about 7 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight.  I pretty much stopped going to the gym over the past month because 1) we have been moving back into our house which has taken up a lot of time 2) I keep dropping weight on my own 3) Now that I am back at work I don't feel the need for as much "me along time."  I am sure it will catch up with me soon because I haven't been eating very well lately.  

House Update
We moved back into our house!  It was CRAZY!  We moved back in a few days before Christmas so having to move all our stuff (we had brought so much more stuff over to my mom's house than I had ever imagined) plus getting ready for Christmas, plus having 2 small children equaled a very busy Christmas week (not to mention I was back at work).  But we survived and we are in and it is great.  We still have workers coming in and out and such every day but at least we are in.  There are still a lot of things that need to be completed, but it is 96% complete at this point.  They will need to paint it in the spring because it is too cold now, but the outside doesn't look horrible because the clapboard is light grey - so it sort of looks like a light grey and white house. 

 I am so in love with our house.  I always knew it had great bones/potential/character and now it just blows my mind that I get to live there.  

I guess we got an "illegal" tub for MA because the plumbing inspector would not approve it, so we had to take the tub out, put it in my mom's garage and will have to bring it back in once the inspection is complete, nuts!  I can't wait for it to be installed because I am dreaming about taking a bath in it on a wintry night with a glass of wine in my hand.  Here is said tub:

Here is the kitchen:

We have a lot of decorating and such to go but that will be done slowly over the next year I would say. 

More pics of the ladies:

A Post for Me!

I realized looking at my recent posts that they are all about my girls (nothing wrong with that) but I figured it was time for a post just about me.  

My life has been full of beautiful chaos lately.  The Tuesday before Christmas we moved back into our house.  I had no idea how much crap we had accumulated at my mom's house until I tried to pack it up and move it back.  I was happy to be moving back but with Brian's hurt knee it was a lot of work packing up the car and unpacking it up.  My mom is a saint for dealing with all of the stuff we had at her house.  Being in our house for Christmas was awesome, even though we couldn't find anything!  We had packed all of our belongings (that we didn't move to my mom's) into 2-3 rooms at our house and we are still going through the process of unpacking boxes and figuring out where things go.  We still have people in our house daily to continue to finish it up (electrical work, outside work, etc) but it is 92% complete and I love it.  I won't say it was worth it, but I love it. There is still a ton of work we have to do to the house (our backyard is currently a slopey muddy mess, our closet has no shelves or poles) but we are through the worst of it. 

2015 was a crazy year for sure:

• Planning our renovation
• Finding out we were pregnant
• Starting the renovation/moving in with my mom
• Having Juliet

All good things but you can see how the crazy could add up.  I am really hoping 2016 is a bit more calm. 

 Which leads me to something I wasn't sure I was going to share on here but here it goes anyway.  For the past few days I have felt a bit nauseous, it was that low sour tummy feeling that sits with you for a while but can't really be tied to anything.  When it didn't go away I thought to myself "I know this feeling, this is pregnancy nausea." Now before you freak out, I am not pregnant.  I have taken 2 tests and they were both negative.  I still feel off but I am thinking it is some sort of bug that isn't full blown.  The reason I am sharing this is because it was the first time in my life I have taken a pregnancy test and actually hoped it was negative.  It was such a strange feeling to do such a 180.  I mean this is a blog that started out as a place for me to deal with infertility, right?  I feel like such a traitor saying I wanted the test to be negative.  When I took the first test I just remember hoping it would be negative and then hating myself for thinking that, but how could I not?  I am so very grateful for our two girls and I am not completely closed to having a third but not now, nope, not now.  The thought of being pregnant terrified me for the first time ever.  I think the main reason it terrified me is because I see how much having Juliet has impacted my time with Ellie and I don't want anything to take any more time away from my girls.  I am one of those people who enjoy being pregnant, but I feel like I have already given so much of my body over the past 2 years that I am just not in a place to have it "taken over" again.  

So 2016 hopefully the year of calm.  We have spent so much money in 2015 with the renovation that I would like to pay everything off and just see where we are financially.  I know we need a new car and I would love to take a family vacation but I am just nervous about spending more money at this time.  I am such a squirreler when it comes to money and Brian is more of a spender and this is pretty much where any fighting comes from in our relationship.  I am also a little nervous about my job this year because my company is being acquired in July and they probably won't need all of us finance folks!  I have been at my company for almost 6 years and I while I wouldn't mind a change, it makes me nervous that I won't be able to find anything as flexible as I have now with working part time.  

I had started going to the gym back about a month ago but with the craziness of the house I stopped going.  I am kind of ok with it for the moment because it was my "me time" but now that I am back at work I already have time on my own.  I also seem to still be losing weight without working out so I think the gym would be overkill at the moment.  The same thing happened with Ellie - I gained about 20 lbs with the pregnancy then lost that plus another 10 lbs after I had her from breastfeeding.  So I started 10 lbs less when I got pregnant with Juliet and now I am about 6 lbs under my pre-Juliet weight.  I know it will level off during the next year though so I am not running out to buy new clothes just yet.  

So enough about me :)  who really wants a post with no pictures so here are some cute ones of the girls!

My little squishy one dressed up for Christmas

 Ellie in her Christmas dress

This is what happens when you try to get a dog, an infant and a toddler to look in the same direction

 Juliet is such a smiler!

 Everyone joining in for tummy time!

 Ellie inside one of her Christmas gifts from Granny and Grandpa

 I can only get her to keep a bow in her hair for about 2 minutes!

Juliet is 3 Months!

My little bear

 Ellie had pajama day at preschool and wore her Elmo jammies!

 I imagine Ellie thinking "you're still here?" in this picture

 Winnie the watch dog!

General 
Juliet is a really good baby.  She went through a period for the first 2 months when she "witched" between 4:30 pm until about 7:30 pm each night but it looks like that is over now.  She still definitely prefers to be held (either in our arms or in the carrier) and she has started to prefer facing out so she can see the world.  Her hair is slowly starting to grow back in but I think she will be bald for a while like her sister was.  Her eyes are still newborn grey/blue color.  She is a much chubbier baby at this point than Ellie was. She has been giving out some awesome smiles lately and the best ones seem to come first thing in the morning.   

Feeding/Sleeping
Her bedtime is creeping earlier gradually.  I try to put her down at 8:30 pm but this doesn't always happen as her bedroom is the living room and sometimes my mom watches tv until 9 pm so sometimes she goes to bed then.  Lately she has been waking up around 6 am.  (like I said she is a really good baby). If she wakes up before then I put her back to sleep but if she wakes up at 6/6:30 am I don't.  I can't believe how great she is doing at sleeping for her age.  Unfortunately Ellie has been having some trouble sleeping lately so we are still up at random times most nights.  I think the transition to going to preschool 2 days a week is a little tough for her and she is having some separation anxiety that is creeping into nights.  

Juliet is awake a lot more during the day, but still takes some pretty decent sized naps.  No set nap times yet, but she usually takes a decent one in the morning.  The best naps I get are when she is in her car seat and I can tote her around.  She occasionally sleeps well in the swing or rock n play but she ends up startling and waking up in those. 

Breastfeeding is still in full swing. I started back at work last week so I am back in my pumping room.  I hate pumping as much as anybody else, but I consider myself extremely lucky that my work makes it so easy for me.  The pumping room is literally 50 ft from my office and it has a mini fridge, sink and chair.  I got a second pump with this pregnancy so now I can leave one at work which I LOVE because I don't have to drag it back and forth each day.  I am currently trying to figure out how often to pump at work - depending on whether I get to feed Juliet right before I go to work it looks like 2-3 pumps while i am gone since I pump one side right when I wake up in the morning. I have only worked 2 days so far but it looks like Juliet is eating between 11-13 oz of milk while I am gone.  Hopefully I can pump enough while I am at work to keep up, but luckily I have a nice frozen stash so I don't feel super concerned.  There is some level of awkwardness when I am ducking into the pumping room several times a day because I know everyone who sits near there, but what are you gonna do? My baby needs to eat!

Back to Work 
I am back at work and that kind of stinks.  I was sort of excited to get back into the world of adults but I am not terribly excited to have to juggle 2 hats again.  As tough as it is to be home with 2 young kids, at least I only had to worry about 1 aspect of life.  Now it is back to trying to be a good mother and a good worker and that is tough. 

2 Under 2 
Ellie is having a bit of a rough time right now.  I am not sure if it is related to starting preschool, but she has become very attached to me (more so than normal) and I think it is because she is nervous I am going to drop her off somewhere (she started preschool 2 days a week).  When she is having a tough time she will tell me to put Juliet down and pick her up (which I often can't do because Juliet doesn't really like to be put down when she is awake).  This is one of the tough parts of Ellie being so young - she can't quite comprehend why I can't just pick her up all the time.  But I think preschool is going to be a good thing for her in the long run - she needs a bit of time where she is away from me or my mom since she has always been with a family member since she was born.  

Body/Recovery
I am about 3 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight.  The skin on my tummy is still a bit out of whack - squishier than it was before, but hopefully with time it will tighten up a bit.  Same thing happened after I had Ellie where I didn't get a linea negra while pregnant, but it showed up after and then eventually faded.  I have been able to get out to the gym a few times a week which is nice and I really like Zumba class.  This past week I haven't been able to because Brian has been going over to the house early to paint, etc. 

House Update
We should be moving in right before Christmas!  As long as the electrician's finish putting the recessed lights/fixtures in we should be good.  This has been such a long time coming that I can hardly believe we actually get to live there.  I might do a separate post about the house.  It has taken up so much of Brian's time and I know how much he wants this project over so he can spend more time with the girls and me.  

Ellie is 2!

Wow.  Our little Thanksgiving bundle of joy Ellie is 2 years old!  I can't believe that just 3 years ago we spent the holidays hoping and praying for a child and now we have been lucky enough to have 2 beautiful healthy girls.  I have no idea how we got this lucky but I am thankful every single day. 

Ellie is like a sponge - she picks up so many words every day it amazes me.  She speaks in full sentences now and can carry on full conversations.  She can count up to 12 and can say the alphabet and likes to sing songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and the Itsy Bitsy Spider.  

She has started potty training herself thanks to watching her 2 older cousins go through potting training she now has a serious obsession with anything potty related so we got her one of those potties that sits on the big potty and she goes pee in it 1-3 times a day.  We haven't been pushing it at all but she will say "I want to use the potty" so we bring her over and many times she goes.  I think when we are back in our house we will get her a little potty of her own and see if she wants to take things to the next level.  She has even asked to go potty when we are away from home (at granny and grandpas house, cousins house, etc).  It would be great to have less diapers to change for sure.  

We start the going to bed process around 7pm and she is usually asleep by 7:30/7:45 and wakes around 6:30 am.  She takes 1 nap a day at around 12 pm and sleeps for 1.5-2 hours.  She usually does great at night and only has trouble when teething or if she has had too much stimulation during the day (usually over the holidays, etc).  

Eating is going pretty well.  She used to like to eat more chicken and fish than she does now. Her favorite foods are: smoked salmon (I kid you not), eggs, cheese, milk, crackers, and berries.  

It has been great being on maternity leave and getting to spend so much more time with Ellie.  I have loved being home to take them both on outings (even though it can be challenging taking an infant and a toddler out together).  

Ellie will start preschool this week - it is a preschool for 2 & 3 year olds only and it is about 10 houses down from ours.  It is run by a woman who used to work in a preschool and now runs this out of her house.  Ellie will go 2x a week from 8:30-11:30 and I think it will be really fun for her.  She seems to play really well with her cousins and other kids when we are out and I think she will love to get out of the house more over the winter.  This will also make it easier for my mom who will be taking care of Ellie and Juliet 3 days a week when I go back to work (yes she is a saint).  

We still aren't back in our house yet.  It was supposed to be done November 17th, but you always hear how construction projects run over and ours is no exception.  The new completion date is December 21st but I still don't think we will make that.  It has come a long way over the last month but there is still so much to do!  I really hope we are in by Christmas, but who knows.  Front doesn't look much different other than new siding and trim.  Ugh I hate how dark and gloomy it looks without and leaves on the trees.  

This is where we added on.  the back room is the family room and on top is our new bedroom and bathroom.  This project is going on 2 years now and I can't believe we are almost at the finish line but it still seems so far away. 

Juliet is 2 Months!

I am sitting here thinking to myself "is she really only 2 months old?  I feel like she has been around forever!"

General 
Juliet is doing great. I have no idea how we got so lucky with these two girls, but we hit the baby jackpot I am convinced.  She is a major cuddler and loves nothing more than to snuggle up on top of me and take a good long nap (when I am able to sit down with her in between chasing her sister)  She handles being toted around wherever I take her sister and she spends a lot of time in the carrier. Most of the hair on the top of her head feel out and is now filling in with brown hair.   Her eyes are still newborn grey/blue color.  She looks quite a bit different than her sister...but still very similar.  

Feeding/Sleeping
We usually put her down to sleep at around 9:30 pm and she wakes up at 4 am and occasionally 5 am!  So she gives me a solid 6.5 hour stretch at night most nights.  She has gotten a bit easier at getting back to sleep once she wakes up - I think that it is because her digestive system is maturing and she isn't as gassy.  Although she still has points during the day that she gets really fussy and I think it is still gas/tummy issues.  She isn't a huge fan of hanging out on her own and usually likes to be in the carrier, being carried around or sleeping on my during the day.  About once a day she will take a nap in her swing and that gives me some time to run around and get stuff done!

Juliet is awake a lot more during the day, but still takes some pretty decent sized naps.  She usually falls asleep when we go for car rides and I  hope she does well during the drive down to PA for Thanksgiving! (sweet 6 hour drive with a newborn and a toddler :) )

Breastfeeding is going well.  I haven't really written down when she feeds during the day (with Ellie I kept a detailed log) so I have no clue how often she feeds.  This makes things tricky sometimes because I feel like I offer her my breast constantly thinking she must not have eaten recently.  I find I am a lot less self conscious this time around with nursing in public.  I have nursed her at parks, playgrounds, a restaurant, etc and feel I am pretty good about keeping it casual.  I am not a huge fan of nursing in public, but I don't panic about it like I did with Ellie.  

I have quite a nice frozen milk stash going.  We moved the big freezer to my mom's house and I probably have about 40 pouches of 4 oz milk.  I am hoping this takes some of the pumping pressure off when I go back to work.  I really loved the point with Ellie when I stopped pumping at work but would still nurse her at home because I always hated pumping but loved the closeness of nursing.  


2 Under 2 
Ellie is getting a lot better and being gentle with Juliet.  She loves to bring her things like her pacifier, diapers and toys.  When Juliet does mat time Ellie will bring over a book and "read" to her - it is so cute.  Occasionally Ellie will get mad when I am holding Juliet and she wants to be picked up.  I feel bad when I have to rush Ellie because Juliet is crying.  

Body/Recovery
I think my weight is leveling out slightly under my pre-pregnancy weight.  I started going back to the gym which is nice because it gives me some "me time" and is helping me get back in shape.  I think my cardio is the thing I really need to improve because I think my muscles are in good shape from carrying around Ellie and Juliet and bending down to pick up toys like 200 times a day!

It's Happening Too Fast

Juliet is 5 weeks old now and I just packed up a bunch of newborn clothes.  The clothes are most likely gone for good, I don't think I will ever put them on another baby and that makes me a bit sad.  Sure I will pass them down to others if a friend of family member has a girl and the clothes will live on, but probably not on a baby of mine. 

I feel like it is happening so much quicker with Juliet than it did with Ellie.  Granted Ellie was smaller so she was in newborn clothes longer, but life is so crazy right now that it feels like time is going by so quickly.  

It is such a weird time - I love holding Juliet and how small she is and how she falls asleep on me but at the same time I think to myself "it will be great when she can sit up on her own."  I just don't want to wish away this time because I will miss it when it is gone!

Juliet is 1 Month!

General 
Juliet is a little lovey!  She is just the cutest squeakiest baby.  I love the baby falling asleep on my feeling, so warm and cuddly.  She has brown hair but it is starting to fall out (Ellie's did the same thing then took a LONG time to grow back, but grew back lighter).  Her eyes are the typical newborn grey/blue color and I look forward to seeing what color the end up! Sometimes I forget that she isn't the same baby as Ellie, but I get such deja vu!  She looks a lot like Ellie and wears the same clothes so I forget she is her own person!

Feeding/Sleeping
Juliet is doing pretty well for a newbie!  We usually put her down at around 9/9:30 pm and she wakes up for the first time around 1 am.  It takes a while to settle her down and get her back to sleep after nursing (she seems to get very burpy/gassy) so the whole feeding/rocking process takes about an hour +.  She wakes up again usually around 5 am.  If I am lucky I can feed her and get her back to sleep and grab a little more shut eye before Ellie wakes up between 6-6:30 am.  We moved her out of our room (aka the dining room) this past week and put her in the living room because, similar to Ellie, she makes noises in her sleep all night long and it keeps us up! So we have the monitor on her and we can hear when she REALLY wakes up instead of every squeak, and this has improved our sleep a little. So sleep is ok but not great!  Brian tries to go up and get Ellie in the morning but sometimes she wants to come downstairs and see mommy so that means I get up too. 

She nurses a lot during the day and I tend to feed her whenever she fusses to make sure I am filling her up during the day instead of at night.  She does pretty well during the day with nursing, I honestly don't know how often she feeds because I will nurse her a lot during the day.  She has a couple of witching hours between 5-8ish at night which makes the whole routine of getting Ellie's dinner and putting her to bed a challenge if I am the only one home.  It has been a life saver having my mom here because most night's Brian doesn't get home until after Ellie goes to bed.  

I have been pumping usually around 1 time a day on 1 side to get about 4 oz just to get a stash going but we haven't introduced a bottle yet, but probably will in the next week or two to get her used to it.  We bought a big freezer chest because freezer space in my mom's refrigerator is at a minimum.  I am overly excited about the freezer because 1) I can start a major stash of breastmilk in there and 2) I love to have frozen meals/bread on hand!  Right now the freezer is at our house but we need to move it to my mom's in case the builders decide to turn off the electricity during construction at our house (in which case I would lose my stash and be so sad).  


2 Under 2 
Ellie is doing pretty well with the adjustment of having a sibling.  She loves to give Juliet kisses (which she does about 20 times a day) but she is struggling with her gentle touches a bit.  Sometimes she throws some tantrums if I am holding Juliet and she wants to be picked up.  She does like to help out with diaper changes and other baby things! There is a constant struggle of feeling like I am not giving my full attention to either child...it is so hard to hold Juliet when she needs to be held (which feels like all the time) but also tend to Ellie!

Ellie was cutting some teeth for a while there so that was pretty rough and the tantrums picked up but right now she is doing pretty well.  We have started to do more "Time out" sort of discipline which she is somewhat responsive to.  Some days when she doesn't get a long enough nap or doesn't sleep well at night she can be quite a screamy mess and she sure does know how to push my buttons!  I can tell the terrible twos are coming if they haven't started already!  She is generally pretty good when we are out of the house and I think she gets fussy when we are cooped up inside too much.  Hopefully the winter won't be too bad with us having to be indoors more.  

Recovery
I loved being pregnant but here are some things I don't miss:

*feeling like i have to pee every 10 minutes.  Seriously I now can go hours without peeing, imagine that!  I can't believe how often I used to have to go while pregnant.

*Not being able to tie my shoes without groaning.  I also like that I can pick up Ellie and carry her much easier than I could while pregnant.  

*Not being able to each much at a time.  I feel like I am twice as hungry now that there isn't a baby crowding my stomach.  And nursing ups my appetite dramatically.  

*Wine!  I haven't enjoyed a full glass yet because I am breastfeeding quite frequently, but I enjoy a half glass or so most nights!  Once Juliet is more predictable with feedings I will feel more comfortable with a full glass. 

I am currently about 2+ lbs from my pre pregnancy weight, so that is good.  I still have a bit of a pudgy belly, but hopefully that will go down over the coming months.  I am back in my normal clothes which is nice! 

House
The house is moving along well.  It was going pretty slow there for a few weeks but Brian basically started yelling at our builder to hurry things up and they have put more people on the job so that is good.  We have interior walls up which makes it seem a lot more real!  Hopefully the plastering will be done in a few days and then a week after that Brian and I will get in there to do some painting before all the interior trim goes up!